A child's mindless rattle

A tooth-less rattle

Thursday, May 26, 2005
12:27 PM

Just got my handphone bill. Came up to a grand total of 400 bucks. Half my pay's gone. Whatever holiday plans I had.. I can forget all about them. sighs. I rememeber a year ago, after I turned 21, I was so proud to be financially independent. I handled my phone bills, my insurance bills, my own expenses, and still be able to save a wee bit. A year later, I'm heavily in debts. I need to do something about it before I rob myself of my savings. It's true that if you didn't start your year right, the whole year will follow in the same fashion.

Lately I've been hearing a lot of songs that reminds me of Lynn. As I was telling Pearl the other day.. I feel it's unhealthy because I remember a lot of unhappiness between Lynn and I. I got to let it go to be me again. I can still remember her screaming at me for being playful and end up wasting alot of time.. the times where she says 'sorry no cure'.. the times she's mad at me for not being attentive, for not doing what we've planned.. for making her cook, for not supporting me when i wanted to do a rotiboy franchise... for everything else that.. I should learn to let go.

Karma does exist. What goes around does come around. Talked to Pearl about time frames. Although I expected what was coming, I still feel a little.. weird. A day with you is an extra day of blessing. I will treasure every minute I have with you. One way to make a relationship last? Not take each other for granted.

Am eating much better now. Feel better and less sleepless nights. To think of it, I don't feel the urge to drink as much either. It's amazing what love can do. They either make you or break you. Been neglecting school work for a while. Will take 2 days leave next week if possible to catch up on what I've missed. Motivation is back, I want to be successful.

Remember this side of me. This is me. The one who wants to be able to provide everything for my other half. A convertible, a house with a view, travel to exotic places.. Places that people hardly heard of.. and not worry about cash... I want her to feel secure, to feel safe, and taken care of physically. Every morning I'll send her to work, and every night I'll go home to her. If she's too tired to cook, we'll eat out. On weekends we'll chill, sail out and watch the sunset. Every night we'll fall asleep in each other's arms. When we retire, we'll go somewhere to watch the cow run and the sheeps eating grass. We'll have sheepdogs, a farm, and.. grow old together.

Don't laugh. This is what I truly want and I do believe it's possible. I just happened to lose this vision for a long while. Now that I found it back, I better start working on it. 1st, I need to save! -grin-

The End!